The collaboration conundrum – Balancing gravitas with approachability
In today’s boardrooms, technical competence and subject matter expertise are no longer enough. Directors are increasingly expected to contribute in ways that are both confident and collaborative, assertive yet inclusive. This article explores one of the most nuanced findings from our analysis of open-ended peer feedback: the subtle tension between gravitas and approachability and how some directors are getting it just right while others may be missing the mark.
Drawing on thousands of responses across hundreds of board reviews, we uncover a fascinating dynamic: directors praised for their presence and authority are sometimes the very same ones encouraged to listen more, interrupt less, or create more space for others. It’s not a contradiction, it’s a balancing act.
1. Gravitas: The strength that commands respect (18%)
Roughly 18% of directors were praised for their presence, confidence and ability to lead or influence in the boardroom. These directors bring what is often referred to as gravitas, a quality that signals credibility, sound judgement and the ability to command attention without dominating.
“Carries significant weight in discussions — others look to them for clarity and direction.”
“A respected voice — brings calm authority and is not afraid to take a position.”
These directors help shape conversations, anchor decisions, and often provide stability during challenging moments. Their confidence lends strength to the board as a whole.
But gravitas, if unchecked, can start to tip into something less constructive, particularly if it overshadows other voices or stifles open debate.
2. The flip side: A need for more listening and openness (12%)
In 12% of improvement suggestions, directors were encouraged to adopt a more inclusive or self-aware approach. Comments often emphasised the need for greater listening, less dominance in discussions, and a more open stance toward differing viewpoints.
“Needs to create more space for others and be open to alternative perspectives.”
“Could improve by listening more — sometimes too quick to lead the conversation.”
These aren’t complaints about overconfidence; they’re calls for emotional intelligence, situational awareness, and adaptability. Directors who speak often or with conviction may unintentionally discourage others from contributing. When that happens, the board loses diversity of thought and the richness of collective judgment.
This tension — between confident leadership and collaborative humility, is what we call the collaboration conundrum.
3. Why getting the balance right matters
Boards operate best when all directors feel safe to contribute, challenge, and explore ideas. When one or two voices dominate, it can:
- Reduce psychological safety
- Lead to groupthink or premature consensus
- Erode trust over time
- Discourage quieter directors from engaging fully
Conversely, when gravitas is paired with curiosity and confidence with humility, boards thrive. These are the directors who:
- Ask insightful questions, then listen attentively
- Share views, then invite feedback
- Bring clarity without closing down the discussion
They elevate the conversation without needing to control it.
4. What the best directors do differently
From our dataset and decades of observing boardrooms, we’ve identified several behaviours that strike the right balance:
a) They read the room
Directors with strong emotional intelligence notice who hasn’t spoken, when energy drops, or when someone’s being interrupted. They know when to lead and when to step back.
b) They invite input
Rather than dominating a conversation, they often say: “I’d be keen to hear what others think.” This signals openness and helps build trust.
c) They’re reflective, not reactive
They avoid jumping in too early or too often. Pausing before responding allows others to contribute and avoids setting a prematurely firm tone.
d) They calibrate their influence
Even when they carry weight, they use it selectively. They speak most strongly when the stakes are high and are happy to defer when others have greater expertise.
“She has strong views but knows when to hold them back. Her ability to influence without overpowering others is impressive.”
5. Guidance for chairs: Cultivating balanced dynamics
Chairs play a critical role in managing boardroom dynamics. To help directors strike the right balance, consider:
- Observing speaking patterns: Is airtime evenly shared? Are some voices consistently louder or quieter?
- Inviting reflection: Consider one-on-one feedback for directors whose style may need gentle calibration.
- Modelling inclusive behaviour: Chairs who ask open-ended questions and bring in quieter directors create space for others to do the same.
- Using feedback loops: Regular reviews, self-reflection sessions or external facilitation can surface unspoken tensions and encourage more mindful participation.
6. A final word: From authority to authenticity
The most effective directors are not just experts, they are collaborators. They bring a presence that is confident and open, clear and curious, strong and humble.
In a governance environment that increasingly values agility, diversity and psychological safety, this balance is more essential than ever.
As one director put it:
“Leadership is knowing when to speak up — and when to listen with real intent.”
